Not Cute. Just Honest.

Grumpy pet apparel for people who are done pretending. Designed by two cats with zero patience.

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pick your grump

Shop by category

Every item is printed after you order it. Checkout happens on Etsy.

bestie of coders

Man wearing a white tee printed with a grumpy cat sitting on a laptop and the line “$ my cat shipped it”

Tees

Cat tees → Dog tees →

cozy, still rude

Dark grey hoodie printed with a white line drawing of a cat on a stack of papers and the line “I teach, my cat grades”

Hoodies

Shop hoodies →

coffee first

White mug printed with a kitten pressing paw prints onto a stack of papers and the line “I teach, my cat grades”

Mugs

Shop mugs →

carries attitude

Natural canvas tote bag printed with a kitten on a stack of papers and the line “I teach, my cat grades”

Totes

Shop totes →

Current prices and deals are on Etsy. Want your own pet drawn? Custom pet portraits →

Breakfast for Champs

a dachshund tee, worn by nobody's dachshund.

the halloween drop

Next stop: Halloween.

Three cats, one train, zero interest in trick-or-treating. Watercolor Halloween tees, printed after you order.

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Watercolor painting of three cats on blue subway seats: one wrapped like a mummy, one in a purple witch hat and cape, one in a pumpkin costume

Watercolor orange kitten in a jack-o'-lantern costume sitting on a subway seat — dressed as a snack

approved by the management

Staff picks

Eight designs Cookie and Chestnut didn't walk away from.

Three Halloween cats on a subway seat, watercolor

Cats on the Subway

Commuting to the Halloween party. Nobody gave up their seat.

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Kitten in a pumpkin costume, watercolor

Pumpkin Cat

Dressed as a snack. Not sharing.

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Black tee printed with a scowling fluffy cat in a witch hat under a crescent moon

Moon Witch Cat

Witch hat. Zero witchcraft. All attitude.

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Black tee printed with a frowning bulldog wearing a jack-o'-lantern hat

Halloween Dog

A bulldog wearing a pumpkin, wearing a frown.

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White tee printed with a grumpy cat on a laptop and the line “$ my cat shipped it”

My Cat Shipped It

For developers whose cat has commit access.

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Dark grey hoodie printed with a cat on a stack of papers and the line “I teach, my cat grades”

I Teach, My Cat Grades

Cozy. Still grading you.

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Man wearing a black cap with “NOT TODAY.” across the front

NOT TODAY. Cap

Two words. Final answer.

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Dark rug with a scowling orange cat and the words “Wipe your feet and lower your expectations”

Wipe Your Feet Rug

And lower your expectations. 24 × 36 in.

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the management

Inspired by two cats who judge you daily.

MlemAndBlep started with Cookie and Chestnut — two golden-shaded cats with strong opinions and no cute filter. Every design is a tribute to the grumpy, the sarcastic, and the brutally honest. Not cute. Just honest.

— C & C, unimpressed

the boring but true part

Why MlemAndBlep

Made to order

Each piece is printed after you order it, so there is no overstock sitting in a warehouse. Production takes 2–5 business days before shipping.
Printed in the USA

Our print partners make and ship every order from the United States.
30-day returns

Returns are accepted within 30 days, as set out in our Etsy shop policies.